Divorced parents as a united front

Last night we returned from our mini-vacation and exchanged the boys with their mom earlier in the day. We had all had a good time, we were a little worse for the wear with the time in the car, but it was something that we knew was upon us--both my wife and me as well as the boys. Everything was peachy keen...

But then--we received a call later from the boys' stepfather exclaiming that the oldest had a bit of an issue with a smart mouth as well as basically melting down. This had to do with us because he had wanted something, and when it wasn't granted, he threw in that myself and my wife would have given it to him because we give him everything. First of all, this is not correct--at all. If anything, I am even more disposed to the boys having to earn money with chores here as well as teaching them the value of money and things that we do as a priority. It was disappointing that this happened, to say the least.

Since we have a very open dialogue with my ex-wife and her husband, we were able to discuss this behavior, and my wife and I both discussed this issue with the oldest, not lecturing, but discussing why this was wrong and that he needed to be much more respectful of the things he was saying and to once again reiterate to him that no matter what he does or say that we all talk about it, so he had better be prepared that whatever he says at either house, if questionable, will be discussed with the other.

Having this type of unified front, in my opinion, cannot be understated as to the importance. It's one thing to have parents who already have differing opinions between the two of them, much less having four people involved--but we make sure that the boys always know that we support each other and will discuss everything with them in an open and healthy atmosphere. It seems to really be something that works well...and hey, at least as an incentive the boys should think twice how they should act because if they step out of line, they'll have to hear lectures from FOUR people, and for a kid, that's gotta be a nightmare!!

TAGS: Being A Dad, Being A Parent, Boys, Discipline Issues, Disciplining Children, Divorce, Divorce Issues, Divorce Situations, Divorced Dads, Kids, Parenthood, Parenting, Parenting Advice, Parenting Styles
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