Cards

So Fathers' Day is approaching, which means it's time -- or so I'm told -- to become outraged at the depiction of fathers on greeting cards:

Fathers sleep a lot, and they snore loudly. When they're awake, they like to fish or golf, but they're comically bad at both. They drink so much beer they're practically alcoholics, and they're complete couch potatoes, always watching television and hogging the remote.

At least, that's the less-than-favourable image of Dad on Father's Day greeting cards. It's a striking contrast to the poetic praise often expressed at Mother's Day. Many men say they are tired of the "put-down" cards and would like some affirmation for a change - and at least one greeting-card company is listening.

. . . . Hallmark says it is offering more positive cards this year.

"Men have told us they would like to feel a little more appreciated," said spokeswoman Deidre Parkes. "That doesn't mean you can't give your dad a funny Father's Day card, but it can be maybe complimentary humour rather than a negative card."

Sure, fine, whatever. Cliches are cliches, and I suppose there's no reason to hang onto them if the social reality of fatherhood is in fact changing in a way that makes them look more absurd than they should. I take care of my daughter for two full days each week, and I'll be the first to admit that the standard of care I provide is more, shall we say, ad hoc than my wife's, which is always meticulously planned. I've been caught in public without a fresh diaper to replace the one my daughter has filled to the brim with crap; I routinely neglect to wipe her face after she's gobbled tortillas and refried beans; I've allowed her to pick up bad habits (like standing on the coffee table) for which I've later been called to account by my wife. Of course, I take excellent care of her in nearly every respect and would like to believe our time together is going to make an enormous difference in her life. I don't lose track of her in the grocery store or leave her in the car accidentally; I don't forget to feed her; and she hasn't fallen down the stairs on my watch.

Do I need that represented on a greeting card, though? Meh.

I suppose I don't object so much to negative portrayals of fathers on greeting cards nearly so much as I object to the entire notion of greeting cards themselves. I don't care to receive them, I don't care to buy them, and I don't for the life of me understand why they play such an important role in our culture.

All of which, I guess, means the greeting card industry should just go ahead and do whatever they want.

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