A Child's experience with death

We received a call from my ex-wife yesterday that the boys' grandmother was very close to the end; her health had been failing for a while, and they had made the decision to just keep her comfortable. Since the boys were still with us, we had been having a birthday dinner for myself, my oldest, and my stepfather some ways away from where their grandmother was, but we were able to still have our dinner and my mother whisked the boys back to the nursing home where their "oma" was.

At 10 years old and 6 years old, it appears that there is a vast difference in understanding the difference in death and the finality of things. Caleb, who is the oldest, had a very hard time with the situation of his grandmother at death's door. Jonathan, on the other hand, has a heart of gold but apparently wasn't as shaken emotionally as Caleb. However, when they learned later on that night that she had passed, it was Jonathan who said the words, "Well, Oma doesn't have to use her wheelchair anymore. She can now fly with the angels in heaven".

When I heard this I almost lost it at the sheer love and innocence of it all.

We will be seeing the boys again this week for their school conferences and I will make sure to sit down with both of them to talk about things. I hope to accomplish the same thing that I am sure everyone is saying about the celebration of life with their grandmother and to not take for granted the time you have with people, but I also hope that I can reach them to again reinforce the feelings and emotion and love that they show and that it's ok to be sad and just go through everything--not avoid it. I also will make sure to discuss things in a Christian aspect to talk about "the other side" and to discuss the relationship we all have with Jesus and the difference it made and will make for their grandmother. While I know that little Jonathan already has the right idea, I know Caleb will take a bit of adjusting to feel better, and I just need to be the father that he can lean on in this time of sadness.

TAGS: Being A Christian, Being A Dad, Being A Parent, Being Thankful, Children, Childrens Experiences With Death, Death, Losing A Grandparent
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